They say that love makes you blind. Well I was as blind as a Bat.

We do a lot of things when in love. For me I wrote a love letter. Sharing this part of my vulnerability with ya’ll is not only therapeutic for me but a form of forgiveness. Not only to myself for being so naïve but to the one that broke my heart.

When I wrote this love letter, it was to not only try save our relationship at the time but to also prove myself to this individual. Of course, we still broke up but Looking back I am still not exactly sure how I feel. I have never been this vulnerable and the one time I did, it left me heart broken.

Take a sit back and enjoy an excerpt of what I believe could have been my vows.

“The past 6 months have been the best times of my life. (And I am honestly not just saying that) Getting to know you and experiencing this thing called love has been the best adventure. You’ve taught me a lot, inspired me to be a better human being but most of all, showed me what real genuine love feels like.

I have not experienced many relationships before and technically this is my first. Some would say I am just head over heels and deeply in love because it’s my first rodeo. I beg to differ because I know I am one of the lucky ones who found their soulmates on the first try. All this is because you are an answered prayer. Due to this, I may tend to rush different aspects of our relationship because I am so clear and confident in you and our relationship.

I am aware you’ve been hurt really bad and bruised in the past. Your heart has been broken and shattered to many pieces several times from Your past relationships. Your ex’s have either manipulated you, used you and even taken advantage of you to some extent. You have been exposed to toxic and evil people around you that I would never wish on my worst enemy.

I may not know exactly the pain that you’ve been through, but I do know it has greatly affected you. I know your scared, tired and afraid to put yourself out there again. You are tired of the constant disappointment. What you are going through now are the side effects of all that bullshit.

First and foremost, I would like to apologize because I sometimes I forget all of these and I have expected certain things from you in our relationship when clearly you are still healing and working on yourself.

I am here to tell you and show you that you deserved to be loved, appreciated and be treated like the good soul that you are. All the wrong doings that your exes did, I am here to correct them and pick up the broken pieces. When the weight of the world is on your shoulders, I want to be the one to take away the pain. Through the storm, the sun will always still shine because I will be by your side.

I remember I once told you that I will be hear for you as you heal and embark on the journey of self-love. Allow me to show you what real love should look like and feel like.  Just like how you have shown me. I promise to be with you through the Good and bad times. No one said this was going to be easy or this hard, but I will fight for us and for the both of us if needed be. I am not perfect and might fuck up here and there, but I promise you that my intentions will always mean well and will always do right by you.

I love you And I will patiently wait for you. I promise to protect you and will never break your heart. All I ask is to please try and give us a chance.

With Love Victor.”

XO XO 😘❤️

It has been about 7 months since I logged on and wrote a post. Reason you ask? I don’t have a reason that’s adequately valid. The past 7 months or so have been a roller coaster. Great highs and some lows. But never bold enough to stop me on my tracks because I still managed to galivant my way through these streets. If you know what I mean.  

2019 overall will forever be in the books. Looking back, I remember having this conversation with one of my good friends talking about how we were going to live it up. From travels, summer flings and just party like it was back in the 90’s. If I must say, I did exactly just that. My mission was accomplished and all that I had put out to the universe came into existence. Not only did I get to visit London for the second time in the same year, but I was able to attend my first afro punk festival in Atlanta. I also got to visit one of my very good friends in Houston, Texas for July 4th who I only met this year in Paris. These were the major events I had planned for, not counting the little weekend spontaneous trips that came out of the blue (Future posts).  All in all, I had a blast and I am truly grateful.

At this point I bet you are wondering what really motivated me to finally get my act together and write to yall. I’ve never really considered myself a writer. But writing/journaling has always been therapeutic. In the past, My best material have all been drafted when I am emotionally going through it. As great as 2019 has been, the best thing that happened to me was also the worst thing that devastated me and got me to a place I never knew or imagine I would be at. I finally got to taste what love truly feels and looks like only to lose it all.

Among my friends I have always been a late bloomer when it came to dating, love, sex etc. In return, not only have I have been fortunate enough to see what true love should look like, but I have also been exposed to the ugly truth of it. Falling in love was the best thing I’ve experienced in all my life. I mean, it trumps the travel adventures and even the love of food I have. It brought a different kind of joy, accomplishment and a feeling that was so strong and impeccable, words could not even describe. The best part about falling in love, was that it also looked subsequently good on me. I am naturally a lover and I maneuver through this thing we call life with my heart on my sleeve. I am now realizing I need to change that strategy.

This was a different kind of love though. Not the one you get from friends and family. It was intimate, emotional with a sense of vulnerability yet filled with passion. The love felt authentic, genuine and real. At least on my part it was. Now looking back, I guess I was just head over hills. All love songs that I had been singing and enjoying all my life in the name of Rnb, finally started making sense. As corny as it sounds, everything I had been fighting so hard for almost didn’t matter anymore. That feeling of lacking and always striving for more suddenly became a feeling of satisfaction. This new stage of my life felt so right and authentic because it was after I had one of the realest conversations with God. A prayer that I had asked God to specifically send me someone that can show me the same kind of love in human and physical form. Although being exposed to the different aspects of love from those around me, nothing could have really prepared me enough to handle my first heart break.

This experience literally felt like the show “90-day fiancé”. The only difference was that it wasn’t immigration separating me from my happiness. In just those 6 months I experienced most things in a relationship you could think of that folks have barely experienced in a 3-year relationship. Not mentioning any names. We did the long distance, multiple spontaneous trips which were basically mini vacations, Conversations about life, family, dreams, insecurities fears. Etc. Mind you, these are conversations I have had before with friends, but it wasn’t the same when your having it with a potential partner. I Went on dates that you only see in movies and furthermore a connection and chemistry that only one could get from a soulmate. For the first time in my life I felt beautiful, sexy and attractive. Somebody finally saw the beauty that I saw in myself every time when I look in the mirror. For once I was never the third wheeler or the single one of the group.

Those who know me well are aware of how vocal I am when it comes to self-love, acceptance and not settling for less in relationships. It was refreshing to showcase and represent, that with such a kind of mindset in frame, genuine love from a significant other will be drawn to you. So yeah, I was deeply in love and I felt I deserved it because I had put in the work and was patient. For those who have been in love before, I am sure you can totally relate, or you are either looking at me sideways and thinking of how dramatic I am.

I am not going to get into the nitty gritty of the situation but let’s just say I wouldn’t change a thing if I was to turn back time. Leading up to the break up, deep down I knew what the real deal was. In the words of one of my favorite artist Ledisi, “Sometimes we don’t listen to what we already know”.

I am currently at work at as I write this post reflecting on everything. Believe it or not this post has been sitting on my desktop for about a month now. Editing and finding the right way to jot down my emotions, thoughts and feelings as I formulate them into words. In this case a blog post. Although I am still grieving from this heart break, I am aware of everything good that has happened in my life even if it’s very difficult to focus on the positives.  

Falling in love has taught me a lot about myself and my relationship with those around me. I now understand how my relationship with family and friends’ impact and play a significant role when you are a building a relationship with a significant other. I saw the kind of individual I am when in a relationship and I finally understood all the work and commitment it involves when in a relationship.

Love and every aspect of it is the biggest lesson I am taking from 2019. I pray and hope that the new year will be a catalyst for me. Letting my gut and intuitions be my compass. Allowing my soul to be un-afraid to grow wings and fly in whatever direction the universe calls me. May the seeds I have planted and the one’s I am planting continue to come to fruition. Lastly but not least, may the love I have for myself and the one that I continue to discover, show others how I deserved to be loved.

For now, back to singing tunes like tori Kelly’s “dear no one”.

My travel bug addiction is growing fast and does not seem to stop anytime soon. Every time I come back from a trip, I am already planning for the next one. Like I have always said, this is my therapy and my muse. We all have that one thing that we like to splurge on. For some, it could be cars, clothes, shoes and so on and so forth but for me, its my travel.

Many of you have inquired and asked how I am able to travel so much. Its not like I have a fancy job or as some of you would imply that I never work. The answer is pretty simple, this is where all my money goes to. If I am not paying a bill, I am putting it towards a trip. Planning accordingly has also made it way affordable where I am getting my full money’s worth and the best prices . Hence why y’all be thinking I live the lavish lifestyle. Again, don’t be fooled by social media remember, its just a highlight reel.

In my recent travels to Europe and Africa, I have learned to squeeze in a few trips within my lay overs. Sometimes its not by choice because believe it or not, I actually hate flying. I like to just get to my destination and that’s why I try book direct flights and red eye flights. Maybe once I start traveling first class, that might change. As of now, I will stick to always look for the cheapest flight tickets which most of them tend to have connecting flights that have layovers. Through this, I have been able to experience and enjoy other trips within a trip.

Also if a destination is either expensive or doesn’t really have much to offer, I have learnt to make the most out of it by fitting it in within my layover. For example, on my way to Kenya I had a 24 hour layover in Doha, Qatar.

Doha is one of the wealthiest cities in not only the Middle East but the world. According to an article by news.com in 2017, it was reported that the small nation of Qatar had officially become the richest country on earth. This was my first time in Doha and I really wanted to see the gem of this country. For those who like to shop, the renowned Venetian-themed Villagio mall allows visitors to sail through an indoor canal, before enjoying the indoor Olympic-sized skating rink. Not forgetting that Doha has man made islands which I got to walk on its beautiful boardwalk and stop for a coffee in one of the many cafes that line it.

The architecture in this modern city makes it perfect for photography and gives exhaling views. Although I didn’t do much, it was worth every minute spent in this beautiful country. Home to one of the world’s best airlines which also happens to be one of my favorite airline, I am definitely hoping for a round 2 to visit Doha in the near future.

During my Euro tour, my travel buddy and I had a layover in Munich, Germany for about 15hrs. Munich is known for its cluster of churches and museums. We were actually looking forward to Munich because my friend Michelle lives in Germany and we were planning to link up. Unfortunately, it was not the case due to her school schedule but she was a doll enough and pointed us to all the places worth checking out. From the research and friends who had visited, we got the vibe that there wasn’t really much to do. Munich is very rural and you could notice this as soon as you leave the airport. The weather was very cold which added to the gloominess of the environment. We took the train and went straight to Marienplatz where its always filled with locals and tourists who are out shopping or sightseeing. It is also a good spot to people watch or just watch the city go by in its true authenticity.

Due to the holidays, we were right on time when the holiday market was in full swing. Munich was quite an experience that I am not quite sure I will ever go back. Not sure if its the German culture but I found folks to be pretty rude and aggressive. I guess next time I hit up Germany, I will make sure I go to the city where there is a bit of diversity.

All in all, I’ve gotten to visit two counties within a period of a layover. To me that was worth a bucket list and a step closer to my goal. If your a global trotter, you will notice that this is the easiest way to visit places especially on a budget.

The thought of traveling to Tanzania is still a laughable joke. It was so spontaneous, I am very surprised with the turn that it took (Of course in a good way).

Initially, the plan was to visit Kigali in Rwanda. I mean we started planning this trip all the way in October of last year (2018). Ever since we had a lay over in Rwanda back in 2016 en-route to Dubai, we instantly fell in love and knew that this was a city that had to be added to the bucket list. Continue reading “Dare-salaam, TZ. 🇹🇿🌍”