Come through 2019. This year started off on such a high and positive note. Y’all know that traveling has always been my thing and by the time this trip came about, it felt like I was caged for way too long.

I spent my last days of 2018 and my first few days of 2019 living it up across the pond. I was fortunate enough to make my way to London during my first Europe tour and words cannot even describe how amazing it was.

London has been a dream destination for as long as I can remember and to be able to visit this 21st century through my hard work was a dream come true. It is often considered as the world’s leading global city. known for its impact on the arts, education, entertainment, fashion, finance and healthcare, its one of the most visited cities. It is literally the NewYork of England and Europe.

I have a cousin and a couple of friends who live in London and outside London. I knew without a doubt that they were going to be my tour guide. Aside from visiting this gorgeous city, I was also going to reconnect with an old time friend.

Sandra and I go way back. She was one of my childhood friends and we also went to the same middle school back in Kenya. #Consolatadays

who I remember as the shy yet smart and a very put together individual, is exactly who I met after 20years since we last saw each other. Only this time, I met a young lady who’s not only grown into her beauty both in and out but a woman whose liberated herself into her glory. Not gonna lie but Sandra is the epitome of who I want to be when I grow up. Y’all know I am still childish and petty but that’s besides the point. In all honesty, I am still amazed and honored that I can call Sandra a friend. I first reconnected with Sandra over social media over the years and that’s how we kept in touch. What I thought was only gonna be a coffee or maybe even a lunch date to re-connect and catch up, ended up being a whole reunion vacation that allowed us to get to know each other all over again as adults.

Come to think of it, the best part of the trip was mostly because of the company I was with.

England was so good to me, I would not mind moving there. I know I say this all the time with literally every place I have visited but the fact of the matter still remains that my heart is a wanderer and I will not settle till I move to my destined place.  On the real though, this had to be the most expensive trip I have ever planned. I mean all the places I have traveled to internationally, the dollar has always worked in my favor and I guess that’s why it took me a long time to make my way to Europe.

Here are some quick tips if you are also planning to travel across the pond. First of all, give yourself at least a week if you dare visit. This way you can get to at least experience the culture and the city fully. We did all the things we had set out to do which has never happened when I go on vacation. Of course with a huge help from Sandra who happened to know the city in and out. The highlights were definitely the nightlife, the culture and experiencing the British tea in the afternoon. This is aside from all the touristy stuff. (London eye, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace etc). You can check this out on my Instagram page within the highlight section because I documented everything.{@Victor_4realzz}For accommodation, Airbnb was the better and cheaper option. london has a good public transportation system and that’s all we used. Ubers are hella expensive so don’t even bother. Another quick tip is if you can set up a contactless payment either on your phone through your debit card, it is so much easier and cheaper as well.London farewell but your boy will be back!

Podcasts📻🎙

One thing I have learned is that the older you get, you tend to look for different things to inspire you and motivate you. You can call this part of adulting but at this stage of my life, I am always in search of things that are relatable or fall in line with where I am at currently. While reading self-help books, or biographies is the obvious go-to answer, podcasts are a good alternative. Also being the fact that podcasting is the new wave, I was very curious to check it out and give it a shot. I haven’t gotten a chance to listen to an audiobook yet but I am guessing it is the same experience.

With such a busy schedule, I have been able to incorporate podcasts into my lifestyle. I listen to my fave podcast in the car, when I am at the gym or even in the morning when I am getting ready for work.  If podcasts are your thing or you are looking to get started, here is my top five that I think everybody, especially in our generation, Should listen to.

The spread:

This is the first podcast that ever I listened to and will forever remain a classic.  My best friend Natalie actually introduce me to it. shes also one of the few that influenced me into the podcast gang. when I started listening to podcasts, I was using Sound Cloud and this is because it was the only place you could find The Spread podcast at the time. The Spread is an R-rated Kenyan podcast that was started out by Nini Wacera and Kaz. Nini is a well-renowned actress and radio host while Kaz is a musician, socialite and influencer within the entertainment industry in Kenya.  Both women talk everything about sex, sexuality and body. It basically revolves around sex positivity and all aspects of embracing it. The spread has now even grown to bigger height with only Kaz being the host. Not sure what happened to Nini but it kinda wasn’t the same for me. Although its still remains one of my favourite podcasts.

Jesus and Jollof:

Currently, this is on repeat. A podcast that’s hosted by Yvonne Orji from the show Insecure on HBO and Luvvie Ajayi whose an author, speaker, and digital strategist. These two friends came together and literally created a masterpiece. With both of them being Nigerian, all their stories are based from an African perspective. They talk about relationships, religion, their struggles to following their dreams within the entertainment industry and most of all, being black and African in a Donald trump world. Their chemistry is out of this world and they are hilarious. I promise you, you will die laughing especially when they switch back and forth into their Nigerian accents. let’s just say I have listened to the whole season more than once.

Rants and Randomness:

This is also another fave. It is a solo podcast by the same Luvvie Ajayi from Jesus and Jollof. she started this podcast way before Jesus and Jollof and is part of her brand. In this podcast, Ajayi shares advice and knowledge about trending topics that she’s passionate about and also rants on things that shes come across. Within every episode, Ajayi interviews black successful individuals who have made it within the industry. From Shea Moisture CEO and creator Rich Dennis to actor and singer Jussie Smollet.  the guests on this podcast talk about their struggles and their journey to where there are today.

Super Soul Sunday:  This podcast is Oprah’s personal selection of her interviews and conversations with thought-leaders, authors and health & wellness experts. I don’t have cable but I’ve always been a huge fan of super soul Sunday so it’s really nice to get these free episodes through the podcast. this podcast is where I get my Spiritual and mental health fix. literally food to my soul.

So these are just a few of the podcast that I am crazy about. I listen to them on a regular basis and are my go-to when I need to be inspired or just re-energized emotionally and mentally. Because I have an iPhone, I am able to use the podcast app that’s already installed on the phone. Its a very user-friendly and has made it much easier to access my favorite podcasts. #teamiphoneallday

make sure to like, share and leave a comment on your take on podcasts as well as let me know what you think about these specific podcast.

Grown-ish

If there was a legit manual/school or even class on how to adult that one can get access to, please sign me up. I’ve heard it all. From my fellow co-workers, friends and even mentors. They say, “It never gets easier to figure it out, it only gets easier to cope and work your way through it“. Don’t be fooled by what you see online and on social media. People only want you to see what they want you to see. Most of us are struggling or just making the ‘struggle bus‘ look very cute.

We so are so used to a systematic environment from the day you start school but they don’t prepare you once your out of the system. By “they” I am reffering to the education system and institutes. Unless the system has been changed, those in my age group or older know exactly what I am talking about.

I have recently found my self going to seminars and little workshops that teach you  certain things. Like financial advising, money, paying and shopping for health insurance among many others. lets just say adulting is really hard!

Not too long ago, I ran into my high school teacher and home-girl was calling and saying it like it is (love that about her). I remember after chatting about everybody who was in my year that she kept in touch with, I dared to ask her what she thought how my life would turn out. I will not embarass my self by telling yall her thoughts but long story short, she did not hold back. According to her, I was one of the few that somewhat surprised her. Knowing me, I’ve never been predictable but it did feel good to be viewed from a different perspective.

Experiences and conversations through this journey of adulthood have definitely taught me one thing. Never compare your self to those around you. Just like in a race, those who win never look at their competitors. Everybody has their own path. Remaining humble and trusting your own process, is truly a test of its own.

Looking back, 2018 will be a pivotal chapter in my life. In a way, it’s been a remarkable yet the hardest stage of my life. The good has been really great while the bad has been some of the worst fall. Being able to balance everything from responsibilities, expectations, social life/relationships and even that self-care that’s very essential, has been a task.

Now that I have hit a quater life century, it really hit me that one has to be able to prioritize and be realistic when it comes to following your dreams and facing reality. I guess you can’t have it all. Everything comes with a price whether you realize it or not.  Yup, adulting is no joke.

For those who are in college and are really eager to finish and join adulthood, I emphasize to take your time and enjoy right now because that was once me. I would give anything to go back and maybe plan myself a little bit more and enjoy living under my parents roof. Not worrying about bills, loans or fulfilling the worlds expectations.

The so called “Dating Life”😕.

The journey to self-discovery has no end! It’s a continuous voyage that one can only learn along the way while being put to the test to what you have already learned. Life has not wasted any moment in putting me through different tests, where I have had to prove that I did learn from my past and can’t afford to make the same mistakes.

As human beings it’s natural to yearn and search for a soulmate whether for friendship or intimacy through a significant other. Personally I have been open to satisfying this urge and in the process, I have come across folks who are on the path to satisfy the same need. In other words I have joined the dating scene and it’s not as easy or fun as I hoped it would be. It’s actually been more exhausting.

I am quite a social person or so I would like to believe but who thought dating in this generation is a whole type of ball game. Being an old-school type of individual (meaning I’ve tried online dating, not into hook ups or friends with benefits), I feel like a different type of breed partaking in the world of dating among my peer group. If you don’t know what I am talking about, monogamous/committed relationships in my generation is quite hard to find. Personally I’ve always been open to dating, so I’ve had my share of online dates as well as “fun” but just recently, is when I became serious about it. Especially now that its summer and its a new chapter of my life, I thought I would give it a shot.

Funny how some people that I’ve met can really test your whole being (insecurities and all). I guess the point of this blog post is that there’s a very thin line to settling for less in order to fulfill the urge of finding a significant other. Whether it’s for intimacy or just friendship. Being always the single one among your friends can get pretty frustrating. Although I do know what I deserve, I would be lying if I said that through this process I’ve allowed to be disrespected to a certain extent where I did question my worthiness. Hence my self-discovery journey was put to the test.

Now that I’ve moved back home, I also thought I would reconnect old friendships as well as extend olive branches to friendships that had died. Being in a new found space doesn’t mean the other party is in the same type of space. As much as I have gained and grown from this friendships, it doesn’t mean that they will last forever. As my mother always said, “friends come and go, some of them are just designated  for a season.

Part of being an adult and truly loving yourself flaws and all, is realizing when to let go. Moving forward, dating for me will be put to the back burner as I focus my energy on other projects and adventures that I would love to venture on. This is not to say that I have given up but rather allow for the process to come naturally and let fate make its course.